did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
