do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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