So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He called his prostate his "boner button".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize