A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
