there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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