We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
