You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
