your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
