I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
