On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
