Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize