Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
