Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The maid of honor just puked.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
