white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
