Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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