At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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