There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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