Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
