he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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