Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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