I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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