Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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