did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
