i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
