I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize