Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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