My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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