I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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