My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize