whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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