We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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