Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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