the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
