Me too!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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