i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
