Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
