Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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