You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
