My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
