I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
