Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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