I am in a vortex of obligation.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
