she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My vagina is officially offended.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
