I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
