I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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