She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
