That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
