I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
