I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
