i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
