We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
