and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
