dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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