I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
