I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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