hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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