Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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