Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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