There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
