i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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